Shock and Awe and Amaze Me
Okay, yea, I know. I slack off on doing blogs even when I say that I'm going to start doing them more often. I know! I know! I'm sorry! Lo siento! I just get distracted what with my boyfriend, school, and extracurricular activities!
But because I'm a teenage girl, I want to talk about my boyfriend mostly :D
Tommy and I are going fantastically well! At least, I think so. Eleven more days and we'll have been together for six months! w00t! Of course, if you add up ALL the time we've been together, we've already been together a full year, but this is all in a row! Hurray!!! It makes me happy everytime I think about that :) I seriously freakin' love that guy. I mean, FORREAL. He is mondo amazing. I don't even know if mondo is a word. . .he's WUMBO amazing <333
I mean, for the past few weeks we've been getting into little arguments, because he thinks that I'm going to leave him and I'm all like "WHA?!?!" I know he has trust issues, not just with me because I screwed everything up before, but with other girls. But it's just like "ARGH!! SO HELP ME YOU'RE BEING SENT BACK TO NORWAY!"
Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS assure him that I'm here to stay, but it's just so weird. Before and a little bit at the beginning of this stint of dating, I was the one who always thought that he was going to leave me soon enough, and that it was just a matter of time. I remember laying behind him on the couch, hands pressed to his back, and I couldn't help myself; I just started crying. I was fine one minute, and then the though ran through my head that "this is too perfect" and then I realized that we had been dating something like three months at the time. I guess I scared myself into thinking like we were overdue for a breakup or something.
But God, as soon as he realized that I was crying, he turned right over and just started talking. It was so incredibly sweet that I just ended up crying more, which didn't help. But he lay there with me the whole time. And talked to me.
Just another reason why there's no way that I'm going to leave me for another guy. I love the one I have way too damn much :) I'm still kind of reluctant to talk about EVERYTHING that goes on in my life with him, not because I have something to hide, but because I don't want to bore him or say something that he's going to be like "Oh. .. she thinks this way about that? That's certainly not attractive. Faggots."
I don't know. I guess I just worry too much. I know I'm an anxious person to begin with, but it's just like "WOAH! crazeh ANXIETY about st00pid thingsssssz!!!!13" sometimes. Besides the fact that I'm terrified of him breaking up with me. It's gotten to the point where, before he says something like "I'm not happy with the way you ______", he has to say "I'm not going to break up with you over it, but I'm not happy with the way you ______".
All I know for sure is that he BETTER stick around, because I already picked a name that I like for a boy. Like, I ACTUALLY like, not one that I'm like "Eeeehhhhh, it's alright."
ROY! I REALLY like the name Roy now.
Imagine it!
Roy Lee Walker.
Me gusta :)
