We Got the Hands to Turn This Around

Wow, so yesterday was a LOT of fun!

Tommy has weekends off, and after this whole Fred thing, he wanted to show me that he wants to be there for me, that he wants to stay with me, so we went to Wolfchase and hung out before seeing Iron Man.

If you don't know about the whole Fred-thing, then let me fill you in;

Tommy started working for the Tipton County dispatch office a couple weeks ago. He works from about 1:30 in the afternoon until 9:30 at night, five days a week (so he has weekends off). Obviously, this doesn't leave a lot of room for a personal life. We talk on the phone whenever we get the chance, but we haven't been able to see that much of each other since he got the job. Even before he had his job, I had school going on, so we didn't see each other that much then either.

Recently, Fred revealed that he liked me. We started talking and I kind of had him set up as a back-up boyfriend. Basically, if something happened with Tommy and I (which, at the time, I was already trying to get the guts up to face AGAIN, since I was almost positive something was going to go wrong), then I would get with Fred. He's a cool guy and I had everyone telling me that it would be a smart couple, and he WOULD be there for me.

Eventually, I told Tommy. It wasn't until then that I realized what I had been doing. As many relationships as he's been in, he managed to guess exactly what was going through my head.

Last night, when he was driving me home, we were talking about the whole thing. Tommy told me that was going to break up with me as soon as he found out, but he realized after thinking on it that it was partly his fault too. He wasn't there for me, and he wants to change that. He has this job set up, school's out, and we love each other. Why shouldn't it work out?

And I swear, if I could replay anything from yesterday, over and over again, it would be that car ride home.

A Djarum cigarette hanging from his lips, the smoke perfuming everything before being swept out the window into the heavy, warm air outside. The sky a purpled navy, the trees a charcoaled green. Fog drifting and settling on the road, wrapping everything in a thin veil of grey. His voice as deep and dark as a thunderstorm washing over me as I wrap my arm around his. Part of me afraid that I'd get so lost in that voice that I would fall asleep and not wake up. My head resting against his shoulder, apologizing for everything I'd done. Him reassuring me that it wasn't all my fault, that I'm young, that I would make mistakes. Telling me he wants to stay with me for as long as possible if I would just be patient. His hands resting at the bottom of the steering wheel, letting me run my hand up and down his arm. My lips on his shoulder. His lips on my forehead.

It was that moment that I realized that I wouldn't, I couldn't, give him up for anything.