Okay, so I FINALLY found out who does the adorable little web comics I adore so very much! I'm going to post some of my most favourite on here! Most of the ones I like remind me of Tommy and I because it sounds like something we'd do <333333
So, I'm sitting in Document Layout & Design with my buddy Chaz, doing practically nothing. Gotta love my few easy classes < ^_^ (That's gangsta peace for those of you unfamiliar with the ways of Ms. Taylor)
I think I'm going to post the poem I wrote on coffeehouse night on here. I think it's half-way decent, so you should too!
"Coffeehouse Night"
by L. Taylor Smith
talent wasted like their time in class.
YES, I give them sass.
two dollars worth of extra credit.
YES, I dislike it.
Coffee-slurping, cookie-munching crowds
just a LOT too loud.
disrespectful of talent
which, sure, is objective, but so is your face.
this isn't your place,
so why are you here?
let's give a cheer
for the pathetic, apathetic throngs
that sit right up front to
snidely mock the songs from the hearts of poets
who already know what it's like to be ignored.
Yea, I wrote it out of necessity. People were only showing up the Coffeehouse Night to get food and extra credit. they could care less what anyone at the podium had to say, so I wrote that little poem and read it out loud. Like, five people got up and left and the rest of the lot were quiet as mice afterwards. The rest of the night was very pleasant and my ego was swollen for a few hours. I felt REALLY good about myself.
I hate the way I write though. I get inspired, scrawl out a poem, then I'm done. Writing poetry, for me, is like peeing.
You get filled up with this idea, this piss, then you run around wildly trying to figure out a way to relieve yourself of it before you explode. You grab some paper and you just keep going and going and going for as long as it's in you. Then, it's over. You're done.
It makes me feel rather heavy because I know I have more to say, but I've run out of ways to say it.
Which sucks majorly.
Like, for real.
Man, this class is too damn long, I swear. And Chaz is a total doooooouche.
AH! He keeps trying to comandeer my keyboard!!! He is sooooo ghei.
Like that Jordan guy.
Mwahahahahahaha!
Yea, just for the record, Jordan isn't gay. He's GHEI, but he's not GAY.
Allow me to differentiate between the two words for me, despite the fact that they're HOMOphones (XD):
GHEI - adjective - to suck in some way, shape, or form. Not cool. Also can mean 'dumb' or 'idiotic'.
When used in a sentence; "The way Jordan keeps setting his hand on fire is so ghei." or "It's so ghei that the teachers are making us take an ACT Prep class all year long; it makes no sense."
then there's
GAY - adjective, noun - When used as an adjective, it means homosexual, as in 'likes the same sex as the themselves.' When used as a noun, it refers to someone who is homosexual.
When used in a sentence; "The way Chaz is looking at George Bush makes it seem like he's gay." or "Oh, yea, Chaz is a gay."
OMFG.
Chaz just broke my favourite pen. JERK.
Well, since we only have seven more minutes in this class, I guess I better just post this.
On the next episode of Taylor's Blog: goals for the summertime!
GOOTBAI!
Woooo! School is ALMOST out! Only 25 more days and then we are DONE!
I really don't want to see the seniors go though. I'm going to miss almost all of them! Tori, Cammy, Jacob, Eric, Fred. . . .I'm going to be sobbing during the graduation ceremony. My eyes are going to fall out of my head. It's going to be BAD.
And I really don't want to be a junior. I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life and it seems like most people, by their junior year, know what they're going to study in college and what career they're going to get into.
I'm still lost. I mean, I know I want to have something to do with language, writing, that sort of thing. That, unfortunately, is a very broad spectrum. I could be a:
~translator
~lawyer
~writer
~teacher
~actress
~editor
~journalist/news anchor
~radio jockey
The list goes on. I've been told I'd be good at any of those jobs, but I'm having huge trouble narrowing it down. I figure I'll just go to a good liberal arts university, study the humanities, get my degree and go from there. Maybe find out what I'm interested in.
Life is going to be INSANE for the next few weeks. Standardized tests, an essay for Mrs. Williams, and I'm definitely going to have to do tutoring for PreCalculus before the final exam.
Speaking of school again, these are the classes I KNOW that I'm going to be taking next year:
Spanish 3 Honors with Mr. Barger
U.S. History Dual Enrollment with Mr. Rimovsky
Calculus Advanced Placement with Ms. Glass
English 3 College Preparatory with. . . well, I have no idea.
Physics with Mr. Huffman
ACT Preparatory with Ms. Rasmussen, no doubt.
Theatre Arts II - Drama with Ms. Vincent
MAYBE Cougar Vision with Mrs. Roy
and if it isn't Cougar Vision, then it'll be Creative Writing and Psychology.
So yea, that should be interesting.
HOPEFULLY, I can rise in rank so that I won't have to be NUMBER ELEVEN anymore.
Yea, I'm number 11. Can you believe that crap? I can't. Most of the people (and I'm not saying all. Greg is number one and he doesn't pull this) in the top 10 have classes like BAND and WEIGHT TRAINING. Band gives you 8, pretty much FREE A's. There really is no work involved. Sure, you have to show up, play the instrument, and march, but no one is going to say 'Ick, you suck at playing the drum, so you get a B.' And with Weight Training, you just show up, dress out, and you get an A. It's RIDICULOUS. Sure, they might be in CP and Honors classes too, but those classes are jokes. I mean, in MY CP class, no one actually tries. They don't have to. The teacher passes out answers, let's us take open book tests, and most of the kids cheat on the tests, including the CLASS PRESIDENT.
Which is total CRAP.
Like, for real.
Of course, I'm not in a very good humor as it is. I'm pre-menstrual, I haven't seen Tommy in forever, and yea.
Anytime I try to 'arrange' a time to see him, something goes wrong because I wasn't thinking or because I screwed up. Which makes me feel like crap. We got back together the 12th, we haven't even been back together for a month and I've already boned most everything. And, I mean, there are a couple other things that I'm wary about. It seems more like we're just friends with benefits, honestly. God, I love him though.
Isn't he just too handsome? Some days I wonder why exactly I love him so much, but I hear his voice or see him and I remember.
He's so confident about himself, about his life. He knows what he wants and he's stubborn enough to go after it, no matter what. I mean, that's how he managed to hook me :]
And, despite what anyone else tells you, Tommy is VERY smart. Maybe not the standard '(x+y)+6=45', but he's smart with people, with money, with real life skills.
Seeing as I suck at life skills, he's perfect <3
I can rant to him and have him put it in perspective for me. If I tell him about how I'm worried I am that I don't know what I'm doing with my life, he reminds me that I don't have to know; he tells me that I have everything set up for me to where I can do anything I want.
I really do adore him <3333
Man, and I love Sweeney Todd.
We got the movie through Netflix and I've been watching it obsessively. If I only had the voice, I would KILL to be Mrs. Lovett. No pun intended, I promise. I adore the Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Helena Bonham Carter triumvirate. Of course, I keep imagining the Corpse Bride singing whenever Helena sings.
That's what I want to name my daughter.
Helena.
Of course, if I have a girl first, Helena has to be her middle name. It's a sort of tradition in my family to call the first child, boy or girl, by their middle name. My uncle's name is Ronald Charles, but he goes by Chuck. My name is Lauren Taylor, but I go by Taylor.
I can't think of a good first name for a girl though. Maybe Tommy knows one ; ]
I was thinking about 'Alice', but if I DID marry Tommy, then her name would Alice Walker.
Which I would really like to avoid.
But if I do have a girl named Helena, I would call her 'Hell' for short. And she'd write 'Hell' across all her papers for school. Which, if I married Tommy, wouldn't look really good either really. Imagine the teacher's reaction when she reads that 'Hell Walker' has turned in a paper about the founding fathers.
Mwahahaha!
My kids are going to be warped. What would I name a boy though? I've always like the names Luke, Alan, Owen, and Seth. . . I don't know though.
Who knows if I'm even going to ever have kids? I might not be able to for all I know. I could be infertile or something stupid like that.
God, the guy on Sweeney Todd that's obsessed with Joanna is such a stalker.
"I am in the dark beside you."?
I mean, JESUS. That sounds pretty stalkerish to me.
GOD, I love this movie. For realllllz.
Wow, I've accomplished absolutely nothing this weekend. I really wanted to see Tommy, but he's probably not even up right now. His body's clock is all wacked out now that he isn't working. He goes to bed when the sun comes up and doesn't wake up until God knows when.
He's such a loon. Unfortunately, I can't help but love him with all my heart <333
Hmmm. . . .I think I'm done for now.
OMIGAWSH.
So we put on the play last night.
It was FANTASTIC. It was AMAZING finally showcasing what we've been working our asses off for. For a little while, I was worried that we wouldn't be able to pull it off, but we DID! It was great!
And although I had sweat-stains out the wazoo, it felt fantastic being on stage, in front of an audience. The lights were a little blinding, but it was cool because it was like being at the optometrist, when he shines that light in your eye and everything goes all orange and all you can see are the veins of your eyeball.
Man.
It was wonderful.
Sure, I was EXHAUSTED afterward but I LOVE doing this kind of thing.
Even though, today, I wasn't exactly prepared to audition for Cougar Vision today.
I felt like such a doof. I was the third person to audition, since I had the Drama Society meeting too, and I had absolutely no idea what to do. Then I saw Ashlee and I decided to confess my love for her, right there. I told her that her hair was orange, like Cheetos, and I really like Cheetos. And her eyes were green, like Ireland, which reminds me of Lucky Charms and I really like Lucky Charms. And her skin! Oh, her skin is the same color as coffee creamer!
It seriously sucked, but I was told that the other sophomores sucked even worse, so I might actually have a chance of getting in!
YAY!
I would be so happy if I can mange to get into that class, even though I'll owe Rachel $5.00.
We made a gamble on my talent. S'cool.
Man though. My life is going GREAT.
Except for PreCalculus.
And my love life isn't exactly smooth sailing.
Tommy and I got back together Saturday. At least, I think so. I really don't know, and it's driving me MAD. I mean, last night, I told him I loved him and he was like 'And I LOVE . . . potatoes.' , which kind of depressed me. And he didn't come to play last night, and I'm afraid that it might have been because he didn't want to see it. I talk about it and he's like 'Oh, well, high school plays are dumb anyway.'
That really hurts. As many nights as I've given up to do this, as much work as I've put into it and he sits there and tells me that it sucks no matter what, just because it's put on by high school students. At least, that's the attitude that he fronts with.
God, I love him, but it's a real blow when I feel like I have no worth to him.
Plus, I'm afraid that, when he leaves for cooking school, that he's going to meet some wonderful girl, fall in love, marry her, and live happily ever after. I sent him a message on MySpace and let him know that if that does happen then he needs to tell me right off the back so I don't cause him any more grief than I already have. And then, today, he told me that he was (and I don't remember the exact wording) irritated with me for making assumptions and that he might not actually be leaving until 2009.
And as bad as I feel for saying it, I would LOVE for him to stay longer. I know he needs to get on with his life, but I love him so much and, as many times as I've lost him, I don't want to lose him again. I know you guys think I'm an idiot for loving him, but it isn't that hard to fall in love with the guy.
I just hope to God that we work out, finally.
But everyone knows that high school romance never works.
Right?
<3333333333
It's a weird feeling, knowing that I've been on this planet for 16 full years.
I'll probably do another blog, later, after everything has calmed down a little, school-wise.
My parents are letting me have, like, three friends over Saturday, so I'm going to make a blog about that day too :)
Woops, daddie is calling me.
I'll edit this and add more later.
So, yea. I'm going to start doing a blog again, now that things have KIND of slowed down. Not really, but I just REALLY need to get my fingers back to the keys.
Let's see, what to talk about. . . .
Well, there's always school!
We're about to get to squaring away our schedules for junior year which is ALWAYS fun for me :]
Right. The counselors never know what to do with me. I tell them what classes I need to take and they always give me guff or try and convince me that I don't know what I'm talking about. This year it isn't so bad, but last year OH YOUR GAWD. I tried to tell the counselor that I was taking Spanish 2 without Spanish 1, that it was all cleared and I was good to go, but she kept saying "Well, I don't think you're cleared for that. I mean, you CAN'T have Spanish 2 without Spanish 1. That just isn't right! That'd be too advanced for you."
PUNCH to the FACE NARGHSNARFFLE.
Then, when I got all the signatures I needed, she was like "Oh, well, OF COURSE! No PROBLEM!"
Jesus H. Christ.
So, the classes I'm taking next year are:
Spanish 3
Physics
Calculus
U.S. History (prolly Dual Enrollment)
English 3 CP
ACT Prep (which I will totally rant about later because it's BS)
HOPEFULLY Cougar Vision! and, if not, Ladies Choir
Psychology for the first semester and mebbeh Floral Design for second or something like that.
So yea. Lotsa fun in that.
It sucks because I have to take Calculus next year and Advanced Math my senior year to get all four of my maths in. And if they try and protest it with that BS excuse of "Oh, well, you can't go backwards." then I'm going to remind them that they REFUSED to give me ANY of the THREE years of French I had in middle school.
That'll shut them up.
That ACT Prep class pisses me off SO BAD though.
It's basically a YEAR-LONG class that teaches you how to take a test. Which is CRAP.
Most of the kids going into that class don't know how to do the math, right? Too advanced for their foundations 1 selves. Well, the class teaches them the SHORTCUT way of doing the math without teaching them what it's used for or how to do it the long way. I've also heard that the teachers tells them to read only 75% of the reading section so that they can spend time getting all of that 75% right instead of worrying about all 100%.
I TOTALLY call crap on that.
I understand teaching kids how to take a class that will affect their future and what colleges they get into, but JESUS.
This is RIDICULOUS.
Things here are so backwards.
Like, the gifted kids being lumped into special ed with the "mentally challenged" kids.
The higher end mixed in with the lower end of the Spectrum of Intelligence.
That would be okay if the gifted kids got as much funding as the special ed kids.
But we don't.
I understand teaching the retarded kids to take care of themselves so they won't be a burden on society when they're older, but the logic behind not paying for gifted services is that the "genius" kids are doing just fine on their own.
Do they realize that gifted kids, especially girls, tend to drop in IQ as they get into high school because they want to "fit it" with everyone else? By not supporting the intelligent sect of the school, they essientially wipe it out.
pisses me off.
Man, I hope I get into Cougar Vision though. . . .like, SERIOUSLY.
There are a lot of people that signed up and are turning in an application that really don't deserve it, I don't think.
They hear that CV is having auditions and they think to themselves 'OMFGSJDHFKJ! WOULDN'T IT BE GRATE TO BE IN CV?!??!?! OMGIKSJHEH! IT'D BE SO COOL!' and it makes me so mad because they aren't even involved with the Drama Society. I mean, how can you expect to be chosen for a film-making class based on acting and script-writing if you aren't even in a theater arts class? Or in the Drama Society? Or involved with the play?
It's inexcusable in my book.
And, yes, most of the people trying out are my friends, but,and I will tell it to their face, they really need to realize that they don't need to be auditioning if they're just doing it to be in the spotlight. It's crap to do that to people.
If they know their way around equipment, GREAT! That's fantastic! I would be happy to have them on CV!
But they're doing because they want to 'goof around' and 'make movies with their friends', then that is going to REALLY piss me off. I think I have some really good ideas for shows, and I think I have the talent to write a script for them. Hell, if I can write a funny script in SPANISH, a language I'm not familiar with, I think I can do a pretty damn good job writing scripts for CV.
Man, a lot of crap pisses me off.
PreCalculus sucks, majorly. If I pass that class with a 70, I'll be happy. For a little while, I cared about my GPA, but I don't anymore because I realized that I take harder classes to learn something. Most of the people in the top 10 take easy classes to keep their high GPA. I don't need that bullshit. Having straight As is nothing anymore. It doesn't hold the same weight to colleges.
Let me talk about something happier, I guess.
So, my love life.
What an interesting story that is.
Bottom line, I want to get back together with Tommy.
Everyone thinks I'm ridiculous for it, the whole 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'm an idiot.', but most people don't realize that they really don't know what went on between us. Most of the stuff I told people was the stuff that bothered me. I didn't tell people every little thing that went on between us. So, they assumed they knew the whole story when they didn't. That's partly my bad for setting it up, but partly their bad for making assumptions.
Tommy really is a great guy. He's absolutely hilarious, and not in a super-conventional way. He has a different way of looking at things. Sure, he's a little cynical, but I'm overly optimistic, so it balances out. He really is smart, despite what everyone else has to say. During all his years in high school, he kept at LEAST one job; most of the time, it was more than one. He knows what he wants out of life. He's stubborn, sometimes to a fault, but, if he hadn't been stubborn, we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. He's nerdy, in an absolutely adorable way. He's sexxxxxxeh (sorry, I had to mention that).
And it isn't that hard for me to fall in love with him all over again.
For now, we're still friends, until my parents come around and start trusting him again.
The only thing I'm afraid of is that we'll date for three months, again, then break up, AGAIN.
Who knows? Maybe this time is different, but I don't know for sure.
That's why I want to try and make sure things go more slowly this time around.
We kind of flew around the curve and hydroplaned ourselves right into heartbreak.
Soez yea.
As you can tell, I get bored during second perioud.
huzzah for document layout and design.
Next is chemistry.
Then PreCalculus.
Have to write my first body paragraph for my theatre arts speech.
Girls > Boys. OH YEA.
Then, rehearsal tonight.
I asked Tommy to come out and sit in as our audience. Hopefully, he'll come because I really want to see him.
Like, a lot.
Crap, and my birthday is tomorrow.
This is my last full day as a fifteen-year-old.
People keep asking me what I want for my birthday.
And I really can't tell them much.
I mean, I KNOW what I want from Tommy.
A hug.
A kiss.
And a promise that, this time around, he actually wants to stay. For sure.
I'll make him sign his name in blood :D
Well, maybe not THAT severe, but hey.
Actually, no. I just want him to stay with me longer than three months.
I mean, he has to keep coming back to me for a reason, right?
And, seeing as we haven't had sex, it can't be that, so get that out of your mind right now.
:P
<3
