GAH! Fall Break is almost over :'( That makes me sad. And I have the PSAT tomorrow. . .which totally sucks. Actually, it wouldn't suck so hard if I was actually prepared for it. Seeing as I'm not, it's going to suck. I might try and study a bit more, but I'll probably just end up playing Donkey Kong 64 until one in the morning like I have been doing.
Yea, I'm old school. I've also gotten addicted to Pokemon Puzzle League. It's unhealthy, sure, but I don't care. Tommy's all the way down in Mississippi taking care of family business, so I'm all lonely up here in Tennessee.
Speaking of Tommy, I have a song stuck in my head that really makes me think of him. Actually, there's only a few lines, but they really stand out.
'Colorado Sunrise' by 3OH!3
And if I had something to say to you, I'd whisper it softly,
kiss you on your rosey lips and never let you off me.
Shiver on your roof and see your face lit by starlight,
hold you through the night and watch that Colorado sunrise.
I've got five fingers on each hand for every mistake that I've made
'cause my tongue is tied to tonsles, and I need to shit and shave.
I'm a shade too pale for handsome and have habits I can't shake,
and if you try to take that from me, well, I'll never be the same
trainwreck that I am
and I am what I am what I am
a trainwreck, that I am
and I am what I am what I am
a trainwreck
and as long as it's okay with you, I think I'll stay right here.
I got no where to go 'cause where to go is up to you, dear.
Happy as a clam, I see the glimmer in your eyes.
Hold you through the night and watch that Colorado sunrise.
Obviously, there's no Colorado sunrises in Tennessee, but I was born in Colorado, so that counts, right?
In my head it does.
Oh! And my mother introduced me to the most awesome web comic EVER. The older ones are the best, but I think they're all pretty sweet. It's called Buttercup Festival, and you should start reading it! Here are some of my favorites:
And so on and so forth. Go read some more of it!
Ah. . .I don't want to take the PSAT tomorrow. I wanted to, but now I'm not so sure. I don't think I'd be so apprehensive about it if I could see Tommy afterwards, but he's away, so I can't :(
To make myself feel less horrible about his not being here, I was going to go to the movies with Cat, Greg, Dustin, and some other peeps, but, alas, my parents were like 'NOOOO! You can't go out at all the night before taking the PSAT!'
Which made me angry, seeing as I won 1st place at the French competition in middle school after staying up until midnight. I think I can take a PSAT test and do decently. Ah well. . . I thought I could handle Tommy being gone for the weekend, and I guess since I haven't killed myself, I've been handling it pretty well, but it leaves me in such a blah mood. . .
It doesn't help that it's friggin' freezing outside, which means it's friggin' freezing inside, because my dad refuses to turn on the heat. The jerk.
He really is a jerk. Honest to God. It isn't just me being an angsty teenager. It's him treating me like total crap, and then trying to pass it off like he's being funny, when he really isn't that funny.
I
So, today has been alright, I guess.
I don't like derivatives at all.
The rest of the day went alright. I got checked out of third period, so I could go to my orthodontist appointment. Good news on that front! Dr. Weiss was looking at my teeth today, and he was like "Hmm. . .okay. We're going to try to move that side over a little more. We might not be able to though.", and I was like "Really?", and he was like "Yea. No rubber bands this time."
SO, I might actually be getting my braces off soon which would be AMAZING!
Totally :)
Hmmm. . .the last time I saw Tommy was Monday, and I already miss him, like, SUPER incredibly.
I would have asked him to come over today, but mi familia y yo are going out to dinner for my brother's birthday.
But, man, do I want to see him. . .maybe I can convince him to pick me up tomorrow.
Nah. . . I couldn't do that to him. I don't know how long we're going to be filming the Halloween show.
That's what I'm doing tomorrow; Kayla, Audrey, Cat, J.W., Dustin, and I are going to film the Halloween bits that we're going to put in between parts of the Homecoming show.
It was driving me INSANE, because I've been talking about this for about two weeks now, and when I tried to SERIOUSLY organize everything last class, everyone had to jump in with their own ideas. I was like "CHA RIGHT".
So I just got together my buddies, and we're going to get this thing DONE tomorrow, after school.
It's going to be a blasty-blast!
But I really want to see Tommy. . .maybe Friday.
Friday would be freakin' sweet! Maybe he can even spend the night ; )
My parents would murder me. Murder me before him.
I think we're leaving soon, so I better go get mis zapatillas on.
Love youz guyz <3
Okay, yea, I know. I slack off on doing blogs even when I say that I'm going to start doing them more often. I know! I know! I'm sorry! Lo siento! I just get distracted what with my boyfriend, school, and extracurricular activities!
But because I'm a teenage girl, I want to talk about my boyfriend mostly :D
Tommy and I are going fantastically well! At least, I think so. Eleven more days and we'll have been together for six months! w00t! Of course, if you add up ALL the time we've been together, we've already been together a full year, but this is all in a row! Hurray!!! It makes me happy everytime I think about that :) I seriously freakin' love that guy. I mean, FORREAL. He is mondo amazing. I don't even know if mondo is a word. . .he's WUMBO amazing <333
I mean, for the past few weeks we've been getting into little arguments, because he thinks that I'm going to leave him and I'm all like "WHA?!?!" I know he has trust issues, not just with me because I screwed everything up before, but with other girls. But it's just like "ARGH!! SO HELP ME YOU'RE BEING SENT BACK TO NORWAY!"
Don't get me wrong, I will ALWAYS assure him that I'm here to stay, but it's just so weird. Before and a little bit at the beginning of this stint of dating, I was the one who always thought that he was going to leave me soon enough, and that it was just a matter of time. I remember laying behind him on the couch, hands pressed to his back, and I couldn't help myself; I just started crying. I was fine one minute, and then the though ran through my head that "this is too perfect" and then I realized that we had been dating something like three months at the time. I guess I scared myself into thinking like we were overdue for a breakup or something.
But God, as soon as he realized that I was crying, he turned right over and just started talking. It was so incredibly sweet that I just ended up crying more, which didn't help. But he lay there with me the whole time. And talked to me.
Just another reason why there's no way that I'm going to leave me for another guy. I love the one I have way too damn much :) I'm still kind of reluctant to talk about EVERYTHING that goes on in my life with him, not because I have something to hide, but because I don't want to bore him or say something that he's going to be like "Oh. .. she thinks this way about that? That's certainly not attractive. Faggots."
I don't know. I guess I just worry too much. I know I'm an anxious person to begin with, but it's just like "WOAH! crazeh ANXIETY about st00pid thingsssssz!!!!13" sometimes. Besides the fact that I'm terrified of him breaking up with me. It's gotten to the point where, before he says something like "I'm not happy with the way you ______", he has to say "I'm not going to break up with you over it, but I'm not happy with the way you ______".
All I know for sure is that he BETTER stick around, because I already picked a name that I like for a boy. Like, I ACTUALLY like, not one that I'm like "Eeeehhhhh, it's alright."
ROY! I REALLY like the name Roy now.
Imagine it!
Roy Lee Walker.
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